CriticSociety- film reviews

Review

Catwoman

Director

Pitof

Year

2004

Rating

Reviewed by

José Ruiloba a.k.a. Morris

Review date

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

I am not a paid critic, so every year I tend to try to avoid movies that look like duds from the get-go. That said, morbid curiosity and being a fan of certain actors sometimes provoke in me an urge to see some really bad movies. I can’t say Catwoman is the worst movie of the year that I’ve seen. I think The Spongebob Squarepants Movie is entitled to that position. But then again, I’m not going to review that movie, so I’d better stick with the second worst movie I’ve seen this year…

Patience (Halle Berry) is a shy designer who works for a big cosmetics company headed by George Hedare (Lambert Wilson) and his wife Laurel (Sharon Stone). One day Patience has an “accident” and is then resurrected by cats, becoming, if you may, Catwoman!!! She now has all the abilities a cat possesses, and is determined to use them against her former employers, as she just found out they’re about to release a product women have to depend on if they don’t want to get sick after they use it at least once. Meanwhile, Patience starts dating a cop (Benjamin Bratt) who just happens to be on the trail of Catwoman.

I have to say I’m a huge fan of Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman. She’s a wonderful creation: witty, beautiful, deadly and intelligent. Halle Berry’s Catwoman, on the other hand, is an embarrassment. She is not that beautiful (her leather suit is laughable) and she is definitely not as witty (spitting out lines like “What a purrrfect idea!”). She can certainly move and kick a lot of people’s ass. But of course when it comes to her nemesis, Laurel Hedare, she is almost bitten up by her. It’s as if she had superpowers too! But we know she doesn’t, which makes it the more ridiculous.

Then there’s the visual look of the movie. It tries too hard to be cool and modern and hip. I have to admit to liking how the dance club scene was shot, but that’s about it! Everything else about this movie makes you feel uncomfortable. It always looks ugly, it’s too stylish for its own good and special effects look like, well, special effects.

Oh, and then there’s the love story, which is laughable as well. And it is also full of contrivances. If you leave your brain at the door you might be immersed, but otherwise it is just a movie gone wrong in almost every respect.

And yes, that includes Halle Berry. I can’t believe she didn’t realize how bad this movie would turn out to be. I mean, with those lines anyone would notice that. She’s over-the-top as Catwoman and too subdued as Patience. Pfeiffer was over-the-top too, but she played it smartly and she was a riot. Halle only gets chuckles in all the wrong places.

So yes, it is an abomination. But it could also be considered campy fun. I think with a couple of beers and some of your friends you might have a great time about the movie, not with it.

“From a life that was taken, a new one will be born.”

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