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Review

The Ring Two

Director

Hideo Nakata

Year

2005

Rating

Reviewed by

José Ruiloba a.k.a. Morris

Review date

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

After having watched the first The Ring (2002) movie about three times in a theater, you could say I’m a fan of the movie. As I wrote in my review back then, it was disturbing and the scariest thing I’d seen in 2002. It didn’t completely make sense, but it was successful in what it tried to achieve. And it was damn entertaining as well. So I was really expecting the sequel. And what do I get? A bunch load of crap.

Rachel (Naomi Watts) and his annoying kid Aidan (David Dorfman) have just moved into a new town in order to leave behind all the traumatic events they went through. But an incident with a couple of horny teenagers in the neighborhood and a certain videotape means only one thing: Samara (Kelly Stables) is back. And she’s angry. But what is her plan this time around? Well, she wants to possess Aidan so that she can have the love of a mother, blah blah blah…

When a movie is going to completely suck you can sense it from the beginning. Sometimes they get better, but that only makes the stinking level vary, not vanish. So then the movie translates into an experience in which that level has to be determined. Will it completely suck? Does it have any redeeming quality that can make it better? Is it going to be so bad it’s good? With The Ring Two the experience was painful. The movie is terrible, not so much as to make it good, and does not have anything resembling a good quality as to merit any kind of pardon.

Let me put it this way: it’s a scary movie that is not scary at all. Its predecessor gave me the chills, but this one just made me look at my watch. In the first one there was all this mystery surrounding the tape and where it came from. Now that we know all about it, Samara has become a central character, right out of Movie Villains 101. And what about the tape? It makes its appearance in the first lame five minutes and then it’s gone forever. After that, the movie essentially turns into mom and annoying son trying to battle evil girl with traumatic past. In the way, every rule about the story as we knew it is broken, twisted and whored.

That said, the plot doesn’t make that much sense. There are a couple of pedestrian boo moments and some chilling imaginary, but nothing to write home about. I liked two scenes in the entire movie. One has Elizabeth Perkins playing a psychiatrist trying to help young Aidan. The other has Rudolph and his friends essentially going nuts. But let me say this bluntly: both scenes make absolutely no sense at all in the context of the story. But hey, as individual scenes, I liked them. Oh, and the water-in-the-ceiling thing also looked cool.

I was also annoyed as to how Rachel essentially turned from one intelligent, caring mom into this stupid, uncaring, psycho one. I’m sorry, but even if your child is possessed by an evil force, no sane mom would try to drown their own offspring. Also, knowing everything that is at stake, a mom would not leave her child alone in someone else’s house while she goes to her own to “pick some things up”. Is she crazy? Oh, but I forgot, it’s a movie, those things happen. Or what can you tell me about Rachel managing her way into an ambulance in the middle of a potential crime scene where the dead body has been left with absolutely no one noticing her? And don’t get me started on that scene in the bathroom, when the cute, disposable male lead (Simon Baker), brings the door down only to find that the place is flooded to the point where waves are formed. And then he doesn’t believe Rachel about something supernatural going on!!! I guess his bathroom always gets flooded up to ceiling.

Oh, and don’t even mention the stupid ending!

It was also disappointing when Sissy Spacek appeared and didn’t do anything for the movie. I thought at least with the introduction of her character things would get interesting. Nah. It is a cameo, and a pretty lame one at that.

As for the performances, well, Naomi is ok, she can’t be bad, but her character is so questionable that I got annoyed even at her for accepting to appear in such a crappy sequel. Paycheck must’ve been good. David Dorfman, the kid, sucks. He’s good at times, but I never got around the fact that he’s a kid just acting out scenes. The rest of the cast is non-existent. Simon Baker leaves no impression and Sissy is barely in the movie.

Tell me again... why does Samara try to kill Rachel in a couple of scenes if what she ultimately wants is her love by means of possessing her son?

Horrible!

“I’ve found you!”

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Other reviews of The Ring Two (2005): Groucho

Review

The Ring Two

Director

Hideo Nakata

Year

2005

Rating

Reviewed by

Gon Curiel a.k.a. Groucho

Review date

Monday, April 18, 2005

The director of the original Ringu, a blockbuster Japanese thriller and a cult classic if there ever was one, has now taken the chair that once belonged to Gore Verbinski to direct the second installment of the American version, The Ring (2002), this time a remake of the Japanese sequel. Before I proceed with my review, there’s something I have to say: I just GOTTA watch those Japanese movies. And not because Nakata’s direction here meant something to me, but because I’m pretty sure they’re REALLY spooky, as opposed to these two American movies. Nah, I’m being unfair. I liked the first one pretty much, actually I thought it was very effective despite its undeniable stupidity. But I’m a fan of horror movies and I’m betting I’ll love those Japanese hits. Anyway…

Little Samara is back from the well to haunt Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts) and her son Aidan (David Dorfman), and this time her target is a little different: She wants to live again. Why she chose precisely Rachel and her son to fulfill that evil desire, that’s for the audience to find out. Which, by the way, is done quite easily, much sooner than it should be possible to, implausible, unexciting, and somewhat silly.

If only it was handled the way it should…

I don’t know if it’s screenwriter Ehren Kruger’s fault, or maybe Nakata was compelled to treat this as a hardly profound scary movie, but the real horror was striped out of it pretty soon, and I was very sorry about that. Plus, the few genuine scares were very predictable, very much in-your-face, and overall not that scary. Oh, but that Samara still gives me the creeps. But NOT when she climbs up the well.

Naomi Watts is perfection though. It’s obvious this isn’t a very demanding role, but she’s still very good at it, and does transmit enough horror to keep us going. Young Dorfman, as her son, is really good as well, though I’m sad he played it more wacky than scary. If anyone is supposed to scare us, it’s Sissy Spacek in something of a cameo, but she doesn’t really manage, because the script takes her the wrong direction. Oh, and Simon Baker is inexistent in the male lead. Talk about a mess.

I thought I’d have a good time if at least they showed that scary video again. Well, guess what. Not even that. I guess it’s a trick to have us rent the first one again. Not me. I’d rather rent the original Ringu. I’ve heard great things about that one.

“I’m not your fucking mommy.”

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Other reviews of The Ring Two (2005): Morris